What to Lose to Have A Happy and Healthy Marriage
“It takes two to tango” — this famous statement never loses its relevance when it comes to love, relationships, and marriage. Why? Because marriage requires both partners to cooperate and work together to make it last and to keep it healthy. However, before establishing this, you need to make sure that you also establish good rapport within yourself before you consider marriage.
You need to let go of certain attributes and outlooks that you keep within yourself — things that may potentially threaten or ruin your marriage in the long run. Here are some of them:
In marriage, it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. Carrying this baggage as you enter the married life can be a disaster. Not considering your partner’s opinions can be interpreted as belittling your partner, or lacking respect for them and their ideas. It could also mean that you are not open to changes within the relationship when in fact, it is essential for both of you in order to grow.
For instance, when you engage yourself into an interracial marriage, close-mindedness must be tossed outside the window as cultural and behavioral differences are highly anticipated in such a union. Hence, if you plan on tying the knot soon, it is empirical that you leave this baggage prior to your flight towards a lifetime of commitment.
When you get to tie the knot, you will soon realize that your future family is given much priority and value. Marriage means making great sacrifices for the sake of your family and you will not be able to do this, if you always think of yourself first, rather than the welfare of your spouse and children. Thus, as early as now, you must remove this mindset before boarding the plane towards marriage.
Egocentrism is somehow similar, yet contextually different from selfishness. If selfishness means thinking of yourself first, regardless of the pressing needs of others, egocentrism is the inability to see other people’s perspectives than that of one’s self. Here, you become too self-focused that you cannot view yourself as part of other people’s world; instead, you tend to view people as part of your world only.
This is a huge deal breaker for most ladies, especially foreign women. Losing this baggage is very detrimental in making your marriage last; if this kind of attitude is kept, it means you are unwilling to acknowledge your partner’s needs. This can become too exhausting and painful for your spouse in the long run.
Rather than being possessive by trying to control or dominate your spouse, be someone who is considerate and trustful. No relationship will last without trust and in doing so, it allows your partner to grow in her own space and become a better person in the course of your relationship. Being possessive can make your partner feel choked and imprisoned. Due to this, it might lead them to desire getting out of such a relationship, and may even result to infidelity.
- Personal Desires
If you are planning to tie the knot, you must also be ready to give up some of your own personal desires. Keep in mind, you do not only work hard for yourself, but for your partner as well. There is no more “yours” or “mine” because there only exists “us”, when it comes to goals.
Why? Because the achievement of the other is also your achievement. Establishing this kind of mindset would require you to have common goals in the relationship. Take the time to picture out and talk to your partner about the kind of future you will be building together. By setting common goals and desires, it can strengthen your relationship.
- Believing that sexual intercourse will always be fantastic
Sex is definitely one of the things that couples look forward to after tying the knot. Most imagine it to be enjoyable and fantastic, but let’s face it: some aspects in a relationship gets stale after a while, and that includes sex. By acknowledging this, there will be less disappointment in the bedroom. Nonetheless, it’s always up to the couple on how they can spice things up in their relationship to make it more exciting than it was during the first time.
What couples need to remember is that marriage requires a lot of work and effort. Unlike dancing the tango, you can’t just stop because you got tired or your feet hurt. Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman; it is a lifetime commitment wherein sacrifices are made, and certain aspects are reconsidered in order to keep the relationship going.
Now, if you are trying to get on board on a flight towards marriage while carrying the baggages mentioned above, the ride will surely be a bumpy one. It can not only potentially hurt you, but your partner as well. To avoid this from happening, make sure to leave these behind for a light and happy travel ahead of you.